How long must I wait
by btfanboy
Summary: A series of short chapters about how Logan and James fell in love through the years...Jagan romance and fluff
1. Chapter 1

**How long must I wait**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M(because I know my sick, sick mind and the boys will be men eventually)**

**A/N: I am shamelessly doing** **this for a cookie from Newbie-0.0Q, I had this idea of writing a small multi chaptered Jagan story through the years starting with them in toddler age and she beat me to the punch! We talked and reached an understanding I was offered a cookie if I didn't drop the project so here's chapter one! I think I have an obsession with Jagan and marriage…ignore it please. Well the first one is crack and my failed attempt in fluff, and it's obviously canon so Logan will be named Hortanse in this chapter, tell me otherwise and I will cry and call you doodie-heads! This is M just to be safe nothing smutty planed yet!**

"They're too noisy again…" Hortanse Mitchell mumbled between angry breaths and flipped another page from his book, only he had lost all interest in it now. It had too few words which he knew most of them already, and too many pictures, and it was another fairy tale he was sick and tired of reading those, he wanted to read something more serious like the bigger elementary kids but alas he could only find fairy tales in the bookshelves of his classroom which he found it to be most tragic and cruel. His main problem although was that even though it was recess time and he was sitting in his favourite spot in the entire school yard right underneath the shade of the biggest orange tree and the sun was shining brightly in the blue cloudless sky, his fellow classmates were being too loud once more and he hated that as much as he hated the reason why they were being loud in the first place.

They were playing "pretend," a game which Hortanse actually loved and would tag right along because it meant he could be Batman, best superhero in the world and anyone who said differently was a big doodie-head because Hortanse said so and that included Kendall and his stupid little Spider-man.

But this time it wasn't just the boys, oh no, this time the girls were playing too, and they weren't playing superheroes, no they were playing something else, something so dreadful and horrid Hortanse couldn't bare look at them let alone play with them, they were re-enacting a marriage ceremony. And if that wasn't bad and disgusting enough there was even something worse, far, far worse, from all the boys, and they were more than ten which meant they were many Hortanse had concluded, one of his three best friends was picked to be the groom.

And it wasn't Kendall he was the minister because he gave nice speeches and rallied everyone up when they were playing soccer, and it wasn't Carlos he was the ring bearer even though there were no rings because they had to find a way to make him stand still and be quiet for five damn minutes, no, it was James, it just had to be James! And when Hortanse heard the boys and the girls distributing the roles amongst themselves and it was decided that Paula Disham would be the bride and James Diamond would be the groom, because they would make the prettiest couple from them all, Hortanse announced that he was not going to play and stomped out as fast as his tiny feet could carry him because he wanted to read instead, which was a big fat lie but even Hortanse didn't know why he said it.

It was his way of revenge, leaving James without a best man, in secret hope that the wedding would be cancelled, but the wedding was going on according to the icky girls' plans' and they were being too loud and Hortanse was reading another fairy tale and the world was just mean and he wished he was back home crying in his mommy's arms. Instead he was grounded right underneath the orange tree having to bare the torture of hearing the exchange of the vows mumbling snarky comments to himself.

"Do you Jamie Diamond take this girl to be your awful, wait no, lawful windowed wife?" Kendall asked all serious standing on a yellow stool because the groom was taller than him and the guests in the back couldn't make him out clearly.

"Awful and comes with a set of her own curtains! What a catch…"Hortanse whispered to himself rolling his eyes face distorted with a felling called jealousy that nobody had properly explained to him because he wasn't a jealous child usually, head hidden behind his book.

"I do..." A pale pasty James mumbled and then gulped but Hortanse only confirmed his low voiced answer by the giggle of the bridesmaids, he wished he had a rail gun and ripped them all to shreds from left to right.

"Traitor…Judas…Joker!" He growled with his tiny little throat, feeling a sudden pang in his heart that he just couldn't understand from where it was coming from.

"And do you Paula take this boy to be your lawful widowed husband?" Kendall pointed a finger at her, she started bouncing like she won the lottery and then she screamed her answer beaming.

"I do! I do! I do!"

"And after the wedding the funeral will follow! Hooray…widow! Get your act together Ken..." Hortanse grumbled not really caring if anyone heard him but none did.

"Good! If anyone here has anything to say to these two and stop the wedding like in my mom's favourite soap opera, speak now or forever hold your silence, well, not forever-forever just until we get back to class and Mrs. Caratelly asks a question..." Kendall clarified to the crowd of children. Carlos slowly raised a hand, and while all the girls glared at him in terror and utter hatred, James himself looked at him like he was his knight in shining armour.

"I need to go to the potty…" Carlos mumbled crossing his legs together, most laughed but Kendall nodded his head up and down all serious.

"I need to go too! Let's wrap this up, by the power and my vest with the logo of the best hockey team in the world the Wi1d, given to me by my mom last Christmas I now pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations! You may kiss your bride." Kendall clapped his hands loudly and every child held his breath in silent anticipation, James though gave Kendall an angry stare pouting.

"Oh, yeah and Mazal Tov too!" Kendall said apologetically at him, James gave a sigh of relief and stomped the little empty plastic water bottle with a loud bang.

Hortanse shot his head up from his book, as he saw the flustered Paula giddily bending over and turning a cheek towards James he started making calculations if he could throw the "Little Mermaid" at her in time and with enough force to crack her head open in two like a watermelon.

"Where's an Acme safe when you need one?" Then he remembered he did not have a phone and they wouldn't be able to deliver it in time and it never really worked for Willie E. Coyote so he ran out of options. He blinked fervently his big brown eyes as he saw James white as a sheet, eyes full of fear purse his lips and give his new bride the quickest of pecks, Hortanse's little glass heart broke to pieces for reasons unknown. He felt tears wailing up, his tummy hurt, he wanted to run and hide in his favourite hide-and-seek spot even if James always mysteriously could find him, he wanted to scream and shout and throw a tantrum like he did at the TV screen when they aired commercials between his favourite cartoons. But the bell stopped him cold before he took any action and he stood up, head down, wiping his moisty eyes slouching back to class like somebody just told him Santa had died, ignoring the cheers of his classmates and the saddest guiltiest look that James gave him from behind his turned back.

Hours later the four friends were on their way home trailing down the sidewalk. Carlos led the way, well, he didn't as much as lead as he bounced around describing all the delicious food his mother would have on the dinner table, Kendall had his undivided attention because Kendall was a great listener, but the newlywed and Hortanse were both silent refusing to even look at each other.

"Was I supposed to walk her home or was she supposed to come live with me…." James sighed confused with what married life would entail.

"Ummm no, I think she needs to tell her parents first and you need to tell yours." Kendall tried to give a clarifying advice but it only made James loose his entire colour.

"My mom is not going to like this when she gets home! She gets angry when I ask her things especially expensive ones! She'll want a Barbie! I have a Ken but I don't have a Barbie!" James was so distraught he didn't even care to hide his darkest secret.

"You should have thought of that before you married her then!" Hortanse snapped thinking he loved James's big scary mom even though he hadn't met the woman…yet.

"Do I need to get a job?" James asked again choking and sweating and looking back and forth to his friends.

"Jobs aren't so bad! My pappy get's to help people with his gun! And when I grow up so will I!" Carlos tried to encourage but it didn't help the panicked James at all.

"What if…what if…WHAT IF I HAVE TO ORDER A BABY FROM A STORK?!" James cried fisting chubby fingers in his perfect combed hair. It made Carlos freeze and Kendall and Hortanse give each other tired side glances, because they had the "talk" a long time ago at least from their point of view, a year for Kendall because he had a baby sister two for Hortanse because he was the most curious child, but neither had the time, strength or patience to give it to James now, especially not with Carlos present, he still thought babies dropped to earth in spaceships.

"I knew this was a mistake!" And then James turned and fell crying in Hortanse's shoulder, the sudden weight almost made them fall so Hortanse wrapped his arms around the larger boy trying to hold them both up. He patted him in back and as he felt James's large teardrops turning his blue striped shirt wet he started to feel even worse that when he saw him kiss her cheek because he hated it the most when Jamie was sad it made his chest hurt and his heart twist with even more sadness. Sadness like when his granny died or when Christmas snow melted or when he was sick and couldn't eat any ice cream, he searched his mind trying to find a way to comfort his friend.

"It was just a game you know…" He tried reason but knew that James wasn't a big fun of that; James took his games almost as seriously as Kendall did.

"My mommy plays games with something called the stock but she says she plays for keeps! Girls play for keeps! I don't want her to keep me!" Hortanse gave a sigh, he threw a desperate look to both Kendall and Carlos, a look asking for help, but Kendall was lost in his own guilt, he was the leader, at least that's what the other boys called him, he should have beat the girls and their silly little girly plan away with a hockey stick. Carlos though had a sudden stroke of genius.

"A divorce! Tomorrow we could play divorce!" But even though Kendall gave Carlos the most approving of smiles, James didn't stop crying holding on to Hortanse as hard as he could, Hortanse made a silent vow never to smother his teddy bear again feeling asphyxiated.

"She won't go for that…" James said, already having laid down his weapons, but that indescribable feeling inside of Hortanse made his heart pump and rage. He bit his lips and gently made James face him taking his head between his tiny palms.

"Do you want to stay married to her Jamie?"

"Uh-uh…" James shook his head violently.

"Do you trust me Jamie?" His sobbing friend nodded filling him with confidence.

"Then I'll get you out of this I swear on my Harry Potter books. All of them, even my back up copies." The solemn promise finally calmed James down and the small band of toddlers started to form a plan.

* * *

The next day Hortanse wore his church clothes because they were black and made him look deadly serious, but because he had to dress up all by himself locked in the bathroom he couldn't tug the shirt under his pants or fix his tie leaving it to hang loosely on his scrawny neck, so he didn't look as serious as he wanted to look. His mother tried to make him change to something casual the moment he came down, but he stalled her long enough running around the kitchen table and hiding under every piece of furniture he could find until the school bus arrived. When he heard the horn he broke into a sprint almost leaving his back pack behind dire evidence hidden within; she came after him of course but then settled on yelling that he was grounded not wanting to be late for her job, his father didn't even badge from his seat he pretended that he was reading the paper and used it to hide his face, giggling sarcastically with the escapades of his son.

The moment Hortanse entered the bus his eyes searched for Carlos, Kendall was brought to school by his mom and they picked James up on the way. Carlos had grabbed a seat in the middle of the bus just across the enemy who was showing of a ring made of plastic to her friends swearing that it was an heirloom that James gave her as a wedding present.

The two friends spoke in silent communication and Hortanse walked up to the small group of girls stomping his feet for effect and humming the Batman theme song to give himself courage. When he reached his destination and hovered menacingly above them Carlos stood up crossing his arms trying to imitate his pappy's scolding stare. The girls ignored them both quite coldly; the gesture woke the green eyed beast inside of Hortanse and reminded him why he hated girls in the first place.

He cleared his throat loudly to get their attention, that didn't work either they kept on rambling about the shade of pink she would paint the walls of hers and James's house, then Hortanse snapped a finger Carlos put his bike helmet on and took out the tucked away stolen metallic ladle he had liberated from the kitchen wear, he started banging it on his helmet and it produced clanks loud enough to irritate the girls making them plug their ears with their fingers and finally turn and face them. Hortanse smiled slyly and gave a gesture to Carlos to stop.

"What do you want nerdy nerd?" One of the girls said, Paula's best friend at least for this week, girls were fickle with their friendships Hortanse couldn't imagine his life without Carlos, Kendall and James, especially James, that was the reason the girls could stare daggers as much as they wanted to, he was unmovable.

"I am here on behalf of my client Jamie Davy Diamond to inform Mrs. Disham that he would like to file for… "He licked his lips menacingly and wished they had included a camera in their plan then he dropped the bomb.

"A DIVORCE!" He bellowed with enough force that all the other children heard him and turned to look their way staring dumbfounded and then one second later they broke into whisper and fervent discussion about the sudden turn of events

Paula looked up to Hortanse in horror with her small jaw gaped trying to catch her patted breath one of her friends, the tallest stood up to tower the boys and went to her friends defence.

"On what grounds?" She asked infuriated.

"The schools!" Hortanse retorted with a raised index finger, and she was at a loss trying to make sense.

"If you do not comply with my client's request, we will proceed to a higher authority. We will inform Mrs. Caratelly and ask her to settle this."

"She's a grown up, she has no right in our business."

"She's our teacher and we will tell her you made my client cry!" Hortanse shot back.

"When did Jamie cry?" Paula asked with a worried tone.

"Yesterday, I have a wet shirt to prove in my backpack, and if you don't let him go he'll cry again." Hortanse's shirt of course was kept wet by himself and his bathroom sink, but no need to tell her that. Paula fell in deep thought but her tall friend was relentless.

"No! We all agreed to this. Don't back down Paula. James has to take responsibility, he promised!" Hortanse squinted his brown eyes and grinded his teeth, he glared at the towering girl, he considered starting a fight pulling every strand of curly hair off her head. He had Carlos for back up and he was just as good as ten boys or one daddy, but that would make Paula mad and she would never give her consent of letting James go.

"Quiet in the peanut gallery! Sit down Mitchell!" The bus driver yelled back at them, Hortense sat in the opposite bench from the girls Carlos by his side encouraging him to press.

"Paula this was just a game it'll end eventually anyways." Hortense made his case.

"But I want to play house first…" She moaned not wanting to let go of her dreams about having the prettiest boy in the world share a table with her stuffed bunny while she asked if it be one sugar or two.

"But Paula James…"

"Drop it nerd!" Her friends cut him in mid sentence calling him names and encouraging her that she was pretty as a doll and she and James were magnificent together like Jenifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Carlos was a man of action, seeing Hortanse at a loss of words and bullied by the mean girls was all it took to push him over the edge.

"Shut your traps or I swear…" He made a threatening fist but the girls couldn't care less.

"We're not afraid of you Garcia my brother…" One other girl from the further back shot up and screamed.

"Your brother is in my brother's hockey team Sarah! You really want to go there?" Carlos stopped her cold if she wanted to bring in the big guns he knew he could count on the Garcia family code of honour.

"Mitchell didn't even play with us yesterday! Why does he have to butt in now?" Patty The Tall bellowed making Hortanses's head spin and his heart to skip beats. Yeah, why did this seem so important to him now, why was he so angry and sad yesterday, why did he want to rescue James from Paula's clutches? She wasn't that bad for a girl and James did deserve some punishment for his willingness to participate. This was only a game after all he knew that, but the idea of James belonging to someone else…not that he belonged to him….and what did that mean "belong to someone" anyways. He couldn't find any answer that felt right so he said the first excuse he could think of.

"Jamie's my friend! He's my best friend!" That was the first time in his life he said it as a lie, yes, James Diamond was Hortanse Mitchell's friend, but to Hortanse he was something else too, something more, much, much more, he settled for the word "special" but something akin to fear and shame made him lock the word in his heart and he refrained himself from using it.

"Yeah! Boys have to stick together! You just want to keep them married so you can fondle over James during recess!" That wasn't Hortanse and it wasn't Carlos either it was another boy from the back of the bus, apparently things had escalated to another war between the sexes.

The bus driver put two fingers in his mouth giving a piercing whistle to make the kids settle down but it didn't work, shouting turned to screaming, and soon the children started throwing stuff around trying to poke each other's eyes out. Carlos used his body as a shield to protect Hortanse who was so frustrated he went back to his original plan of attack. He took out the "The Little Mermaid" from his backpack and threw it with all his strength over Paula's seat, only the target had changed; Patty was the recipient not James's bride.

When they arrived at the school yard and the bus driver thanked God for His infinite mercy, the children or the little demons in human form which was a more accurate description came down with bruises and cuts and tangled hair. Kendall and James were anxiously waiting at the school entrance and at the sight of them Kendall gave a nervous smile, he could see the detention coming down on the entire class like a divine hammer of punishment, while James's mouth dropped, little hazel eyes trying to find his two best friends among the crowd. Carlos was unscathed for the most part, surrounded by the boys like a war hero chanting songs in his name, Hortanse had a torn lip and a bruised eye and his church clothes would need to go to the dry cleaner's because a juicy box had been squirted on him, he knew he was going to spend a month in his room like a prisoner on a life sentence and maybe receive a thorough spanking but he could care less. When his eyes met James's he smiled a victorious smile and walked up to him Paula of all people by his side.

"Here, you can have your grandmother's ring back." She gave him the fake ring and James made a face.

"I didn't give you that…" James coaxed out.

"Don't tell the other girls, I told them it belonged to your granny." She gave him a quick peck which Hortanse did not approve and then turned to leave.

"You have good friends Jamie." She winked back at Hortanse and then hopped up the entrance steps two at a time.

"Didn't we say no fighting?" Kendall said sarcastically but Hortanse ignored him.

"Negotiations were murder and you have to buy her ice cream for the rest of the week but you are a free boy Mr. Diamond…" James face was lighted up in seconds with a smile that made Hortanse blush, he once more fell in Hortanse's arms thanking him over and over again with a choked voice. Patty passed by them glaring daggers.

"Sissy boys…" She spat venom, and she was about to leave but James gave her a quick trip, she fell face down and when she turned back with red vengeful eyes her entire body froze when she received James's menacing glare.

"Look, here horsy girl, mess with me or mine again and it's your panties on the flag pole! Get it?"

"Whatever Diamond…." She got up pretending to have shrugged the threat off but she still checked if James was coming after her every five seconds.

"Mine…."Hortanse turned and locked his gaze in James's, he still refused to let go of the safety of the other boys embrace, James smiled and gently pushed him back.

"Yeah we're friends right?"

"He called you his best friend on the bus!" Carlos giggled behind them.

"We're not going to start numbering each other guys. Let's go to class we have a lecture and detention coming from Mrs. Caratelly let's not give her further excuse to skin our hides!" With that Kendall dashed up to the school Carlos right behind him, but as Hortanse was about to follow James grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Best friend?" James asked with an arrogant smirk that made the other boys' skin blush to even deeper shades of red.

"And your lawyer, don't you forget…" Hortanse mumbled, James nodded and took his shaking hand in his own, opened the fingers gently and deposited the little fake piece of jewellery.

"Here you go something for your trouble; it's my grandmother's ring apparently." Hortanse took it, stared at it, then at James who was all smiles, and then with an angry pout threw it back on his face.

"I'M NOT A GIRL YOU POOPY HEAD!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, pushed James down making him fall and ran to the classroom face flustered red with rage.

"…but you're still the prettiest kid in class and I'd rather marry you…" James said in whisper and then let a frustrated sigh out confused with his own buried feelings. He got up, dusted himself off and trailed to class whistling nonchalantly, it wasn't like he was in any hurry, they were still young, and James wasn't going to jump into even more marital troubles head first ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**How long must I wait**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M (because I know my sick, sick mind and the boys will be men eventually)**

**A/N: Remember how funny and fluffy chapter one was? Well sorry but now they're teenagers so we've moved to the angst years! MWHAHAHA! I think I have Kendall pegged down now, didn't feel that I got him right in "Frozen" so that's good. What's bad is that I'm dealing with a sort of a crisis of faith and it makes my writing awful (also my workload sucks this week; this writer is very, very, tired.) I made things weird and confusing again towards the second half, I'm sure! Please I need reviews to get of the gutter! PLEAAASE!**

**If you still want it Newbie-0.0Q this is still yours.** **AND HAPPY BIRTH DAY BECAUSE I WON'T BE ONLINE THIS SATURDAY!**

"LOGAN HONEY THE BOYS ARE HERE TO PICK YOU UP!" Mrs. Mitchell shouted from the bottom of the stairs at her son currently locked up in the bathroom making final preparations. His first thought was on why was she calling him Logan, but then he remembered that it was his first name now, changed by the whims of Brooke Diamond in a matter of seconds the first time she laid eyes on him.

When he told the story to his parents that night at the dinner table he did it for the laughs, he never expected them to love the idea and have him legally move his original name in the middle and place Logan as the first. Apparently he was surrounded by crazy people, and the most insane of them were currently waiting for him outside his front door.

"I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE I JUST HAVE TO DO MY HAIR!" He bellowed back and grumbled frustrated at his reflection, he would rather stay cooped in his room reading the big pile of books he had accumulated to pass the summer time than be drugged to a stupid party some popular kid was throwing to celebrate the fact that school was now closed for three months. If Logan had his way schools would be open all year long, including weekends, holidays, even when a natural disaster like a blizzard would decent upon Minnesota throwing the city back to the Ice Ages. Logan would still make people go to school using a whip if he had to starting with the three slackers that he shared a brotherhood bond with.

Logan was a natural born nerd, and that side of him was just one of the reasons he still hadn't gotten a girlfriend at the age of fifteen, other reasons though, most of them really were tied to a secret, an actual secret because he was proud of his thirst of knowledge and the people that didn't understand that could drop from the face of the earth for all he cared.

The real secret that Logan was prepared to take to his grave was currently tapping one foot in repeat frustrated and anxious waiting at the Mitchell's doorsteps losing his last ounces of patience ready to flip his lid and climb up the wall to the bathroom window and drag Logan out.

"We'll run late..." James hissed annoyed beyond bounds.

"Settle down, there is no such thing as late James, it's a Friday night party we can show up any time we want." Kendall tried his best knowing it was futile; he still had to give reason a shot.

"First him, now Logan! You guys are doing it on purpose; I'll miss all the girls worthy of my time!" James threw an accusatory finger over at Carlos who made an angry face.

"Hey! I was ready on time! You just had to force me to leave my helmet home! I feel all naked now…" He then sulked, and scratched his head for the millionth time which itched due to the sudden loss of headgear.

"Carlos we talked about this. You want a girlfriend right?" Kendall cooed Carlos nodded his head up and down smiling a little embarrassed.

"Sorry Garcia, not happening tonight. The Diamond is on the prowl, you can at least take notes on how I woe the ladies." James informed playing with his eyebrows while rolling the sleeves of his fine silk shirt up to show off more muscled skin, warning he meant business.

"Oh, come on leave some for the rest of us!" Carlos pouted and Kendall rolled his eyes, now he was the one losing his cool, he needed backup because James and Carlos were about to embark on another verbal silly argument. When he saw Logan coming out he mumbled a grateful thank you to God.

"I'm here…I'm here...we can go now!" Logan said closing the door behind him but James stared at him losing all color at the sight.

"What…what is that thing that you're wearing is that supposed to be a shirt?! And the pants are you color blind Mitchell! Don't get me started on the shoes... GO BACK UPSTAIRS AND AT LEAST MAKE AN EFFORT! I AM NOT SHOWING UP IN THE SOCIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR WITH YOU LOOKING LIKE THAT!" James was having a nervous breakdown while Logan turned to face Kendall trying to ignore the obscurities that came out of his mouth.

"He's in pretty boy mode isn't he?"

"Yup…" And they turned and slouched down the street Carlos tugging along right behind them, while James still flailed.

"YOU GUYS ARE NEVER GOING TO GET LAID! INCLUDING YOU AND YOUR MOPY HAIR KNIGHT! MARK MY WORDS!"And then he ran after them calling them names all the way to their destination.

* * *

The social event of the year was the typical teenage unsupervised party organized in the last minute, with people from all over the school, most of them uninvited, all of them under eighteen and looking for a way to let out some of the stresses and hormones that racked their bodies and minds.

It was already a full house, the moment the boys entered the entrance hallway through the open door, they had to fight tooth and nail for every single step that led to the living room, pushing people aside gently, apologizing for stepping on feet unintentionally, bodies grazing left and right.

Logan even lost Carlos for a few seconds in the crowd, when they finally made it they saw their host, a member of their hockey team running up and down trying to do his duty the best way he could.

"Hi Sean!"

"Kendall! James! Carlos! There you guys are!"

"Typical…" Logan mumbled, he was just the fourth wheel again, invisible to anyone but his friends, not liked even by most of his fellow hockey team members since he took the last spot on last year's try outs replacing a popular senior at that, everyone was convinced that his long time friendship with the new team captain had more to do with it and not the fact that he was a natural on the ice, and no one could understand why the charismatic Kendall Knight, the adorable Carlos Garcia and the breathtaking James Diamond wasted their time with the shadow that was known as Logan Mitchell.

"Okay guys good to see you here, grab a coke or something and mingle..."Then he leaned over towards James and smiled slyly, pointing conspicuously over a corner at some girls.

"There are senior girls here!" He said grinning.

"I can see that dude! You're the man!" James said approvingly and then they hi fived with a loud clap which Logan found both stupid and juvenile. Sean left, leaving the four friends on their own devices.

"So, Carlos, want to try your luck with the cheerleaders' captain?"

"You're an idiot!" But James just grabbed him by the arm smiling smugly and dragged him along, thinking he needed the experience of getting burned under his belt.

"Oh, boy, this is going to be a train wreck…Want some punch Logs?"

"A punch on James's pretty face is what I want right now…"

"Come on Logan, James sets you up in all those double dates, Carlos needs to stretch his legs in the game, don't be jealous, it's not like they'll get anything out of this."

"Yeah, you're right…can you get me that punch now Ken? Thanks…" Kendall nodded and then he trailed off, Logan was not only jealous now but angry too; he could do without the reminder that James kept on setting him up all year long forcing him on dates. Of course the dates never went anywhere, he spend most of his time paying attention to James watching him light up as he flirted than his own date, and at the end of each night James got to at least second base while Logan took the girl home and then he proceeded to collapse on his bed muffling frustrated screams face buried in his pillow. He avoided the situation as often as he could but James never really takes no for an answer, and he needed to make sure the feelings he had for him weren't because of messed up hormones or just some stupid idea that got stuck in his head from way back when, because Logan Hortanse Mitchell has been in love with the boy that appeared to be his best friend before he was even tall enough to reach the middle kitchen cabinet, and now after all this years he had become a master of holding in his feelings, well, at least most of the time he was, at times like these he let things slip.

He felt someone push him aside suddenly because the sweaty couples needed to expand the dance floor and he was a waste of space in their eyes, he turned to find Kendall but he was right in front of the food table laughing with the rest of the hockey team that came to bask under their protégé of a leader, he turned to find Carlos expecting him to be sulking under James's shadow but he was actually leading a senior by the hand on the dance floor while James marveled proudly before returning to conversation with his current target.

It was time for Logan to hide and lurk in a corner like his old childhood super hero, but back then he imagined it'd be fun, now he just did it by default wanting to avoid people looking at him. Logan was part of a set, individually they all knew how to shine, and Logan simply knew how to fade and so he did.

He found asylum in a chair outside by the open living room windows, the night breeze even did him the courtesy of throwing the curtains over him making him completely vanish every few seconds.

He checked his wrist watch he knew that eventually Kendall would come after him; he didn't have much time to be alone and be himself. He had to pretend to be bored and not heartbroken so his friend wouldn't worry as much. There was a time when James would be the one to find him but that was when they were children that time was past gone.

He often thought of coming out, telling somebody, anybody, his parents were a sound choice, they were open minded understanding people; they would love their son just the same. But in the end he just couldn't do it, because he feared that James would find out about it, and in his shallowness he wouldn't be able to understand, James's number one priority was keeping appearances, the image of teenage heartthrob. Logan was dead certain that if they met now and not back in kinder garden James wouldn't give him the time of day.

He lifted his head up in the starlit sky and let a sigh escape him as he wished upon the summer half-moon. If only things were different, if only something changed, if James could suddenly notice by himself at how often Logan would stutter when he tutored him or how he blushed when James walked shirtless in the locker rooms. If he could find the courage to confess or if they weren't in high school anymore where he felt like an outsider every single fucking day.

He would even settle for a girl that would make him want to actually try. Someone passionate and beautiful and maybe a little silly like James, someone to sweep him of his feet, he could give that person an honest shot, try to grab on the chance to be normal, anything to make him move from the current predicament.

He thought he had to wait until college where all this would seem like the escapades of youth and that got him through most days but college seemed so far away at nights like this. When James made it clear he cared for all his friends the same way and the only lustful feelings he had were aimed at the opposite sex.

In the end Logan stuck on his decision, wait patiently for time to move, for his real life to actually start and not do anything stupid to mess with the status quo. Not risk losing his friends or making high school life even harder than it already was, just make it through the day, and then the next one, and then the next he couldn't see that this particular trail of thought wouldn't get him anywhere, he was a teenager after all.

* * *

"There you are…" Kendall found him thirty minutes later, he was holding two lemonade cups instead of punch and Logan took the one he passed confused.

"Somebody spiked it." He sat on the ground next to Logan trying not to sound judgmental; Logan on the other hand didn't even try.

"See that's why I don't like parties or people! Bet you Sean did it by himself, and the music's too damn loud, the cops will be all over us soon!"

"Stop jumping to conclusions and worrying about stuff all the time Logan! I talked to Sean and he threw it out the moment he heard about it, and he talked to the neighbors when he set the party, it's not even nine yet! His parents are just across the street too having a barbeque with his aunt! God can you just loosen up for once, James is right you never really make an effort to be social and nice to people under the age of eighteen!"

"Okay, so Sean's not a moron, he's just spoiled rotten like James. And I don't owe him the benefit of the doubt; did you see how he ignored me when we got here?"

"Yeah, you're right about that, but Logan you're more mature than any of the four of us combined, the entire class even, can you just be the bigger person and turn the other cheek?"

"Easy for you to say, you're Captain Kendall Knight, I'm just nerdy nerd Mitchell!" Logan stood up and drunk his drink in one gulp, then he squashed the cup in anger, Kendall frowned, he usually would have left the subject to drop but he was a little sick and tired of the repetition of Logan playing martyr.

"Are you ever going to tell me what this is really about, why do you have the sudden need to barricade yourself up from the rest of the world and won't even let us in?" Logan froze still, he turned to face Kendall feeling his heart beat rise and spike, he thought this was a sign, a sign to let some of the pent up feelings out. Kendall was a brother to him, they just didn't share blood, that was all, he could do this, tell someone finally, trust someone, let someone in, tear the wall down.

"Kendall I think…" But before he could barely even start he was interrupted by James coming out of the house with a girl wrapped around his arm, not a senior of course, he wasn't that good but try telling him that in his face. Vicky shared a few classes with Logan and the boys, and like every other girl their age she couldn't say no to The Face, they were both laughing without a care in the world, he even made her do a spin and a twirl, and they were about to embark on a passionate kiss, when James's eyes fell on Kendall and Logan. He stopped cold; he took his arm off the girl's back with lightning speed.

"Hey guys, didn't see you there…we were…"

"Looking for some quiet place, right big fellah?" Logan spoke with a straight face, no apparent jealousy, nor was there any other evidence that he was slowly dying inside, maybe he was already dead because his heart felt cold, cold and barren, like a frozen wasteland that never experienced the joys of spring, it wasn't the first time he felt that way either, in fact the only times that he felt different, alive, were the times he and James were alone, and James didn't have the mask of pretty boy on, the times were they shared their secrets to each other, all except one.

"Hope we didn't interrupt anything…." Vicky said apologetically, Logan could count in one hand the kids from school that were actually nice to him and fucking Vicky Croix had to be one of them, he hated her now and he hated James more for making him feel that way.

"We were just talking. No big deal." Kendall smiled at her but the look he gave James was filled with murderous intent, James lost all color, Logan didn't notice he was trying to force himself to smile.

"Let's go inside Ken, the lovebirds need some quiet time." But as he turned to leave he was stopped by Vicky herself.

"No, no you guys can stay; me and James can fool around some other time on an actual date, if he cares to ask. I wanted to talk to you actually Logan…" She even left James's side and grabbed Logan by the arm, pleading eyes and everything.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked confused.

"I read this article online about hereditary mutation and…"

"I didn't know you were into bio that much?"

"I don't have your average but that doesn't mean I waste my time reading the fashion magazines Logan. So what I wanted to know was…"

Kendall took the opportunity to grab a smiling James by the arm and drug him further away from the party, behind the trees that surrounded the little store room on the far back of the yard.

"Would you look at that? Loggie is actually stealing a girl from me..." James said amused eyes still fixed back at the pair behind them.

"Cut the bull! What have we talked about!?" Kendall couldn't control himself any longer, he had enough of beating around the bushes with Logan, James had to suffer a full attack now for his immaturity.

"No! We're not having this discussion again Knight!" James made an angry gesture with one hand and then tried to leave, but Kendall used his entire body to block him, like they were on the ice fighting for the hockey championship.

"Oh, yes we are Diamond!"

"There's nothing to talk about! You have no idea how crazy you sound when you spew that crap! You're straight, Carlos is straight, I'm straight, Logan's…"

"Logan was about to come out of the closet!"Kendall moaned in frustration turning James to stone.

"What…"

"He was ready to confess! And then you and Vicky barged in! I've told you once! I've told you twice! Logan isn't interested in girls, never was never will be! Stop trying to set him up, it throws him back and confuses the Hell out of him! Why are you so set on fixing him, there's nothing wrong with him! He needs our support and you're just messing with his head! What are you afraid of James? Are you some kind of homophobe?! Because I swear if…"

"Homophobe?! You did not just say that, you did not just say that to me! If Logan comes out then I'll have to do it too okay, that's why I'm stalling! I'm not ready yet, I'm just not! So shut up, just shut the fuck up!" Then James started to cry, and it was Kendall's turn to change into stone.

"What…did…you just…"

"You heard me…"

"James this…this doesn't make sense…I've known about Logan for years but you…All those girls you date…the Peggy Warton rumor…" James wiped his tears he tried to pull himself together; it wasn't easy, his voice still came out choked, ashamed, and disgusted with himself.

"Yeah…that one's true…we had sex a couple of months back…"

"You're an idiot!" Kendall finally snapped mind connecting the puzzle pieces together.

"I know! I just…I can't deal with the fact that I get turned on by…so I…" He couldn't even say it, how he threw himself from one girl to the next, using them in an effort to suppress the urges he had.

"Wait, wait back up, are you sure you're…" James begged Kendall not to say the word just in case someone overheard them Kendall just rolled his eyes at him and lowered his voice register to match James's own sobbing whispers.

"Maybe…it's not that I don't enjoy the make out sessions, but that time with Peggy, that was weird…"

"So all this for you is some kind of what? A test?"

"No I…I'm confused Ken…I'm just confused, on one hand I have fun with them, and sometimes I grow actual feelings but then I have all this dreams and stuff and I pull back. Didn't you ever notice how I take hour long showers in the locker rooms?"

"I just thought it was a pretty boy thing, which I attributed to your mom and her job but now, well it makes sense now, you are the heir to Diamond Cosmetics after all might as well play the part." Kendall giggled James's expression hardened.

"Don't say that again, I know that my pop star dream sounds stupid to all three of you but it's actually something I want. I don't plan on living my life the way my mom dictates."

"Okay, sorry I know your mother isn't exactly the easiest person to deal with. So, you at least have some feelings about your dates, see, you're not that shallow of a person. How about the other team, anyone special that makes…" And then Kendall's mouth gaped because the moment James heard the word special his eyes darted over towards Logan who still talked oblivious to Vicky, his eyes lit up like spotlights.

"…son of a bitch…"

"Yeah…I know…"James mumbled and then Kendall erupted with laughter, bending on his knees while James turned bright red.

"It's not funny!"

"Oh, yes it is! You know you can walk right up to him and kiss him and then ride off into the sunset…"

"STOP IT DUDE!" And Kendall did, he stopped laughing in mere seconds and turned back to James dead serious.

"You have to stop screwing around James! If you actually care for him, he's right there! Right there! And he's going through the same crap you are man! You can help each other! You could even be happy together!"

"Yeah right! And throw our friendship down the drain! And besides like he doesn't have it bad enough with the nerd label permanently attached on him! And even though I look at him that way doesn't mean he does…"

"You're just scared about what other people will say that's why you don't even sing in public even though you love it!"

"No I'm just scared he'll shoot me down and break my heart!"

"Wow. Did not see that one coming…You have it bad for him don't you?"

"You have no idea…"

"Let's summarize shall we? You're an idiot, a scared shitless immature coward. And a moronic masochist who's in love with his best friend who just so happens to be in the same exact spot like you and instead of, oh, I don't know, give yourself a chance you whore around?" That was the real proof of the friendship they shared, voicing each others' inner thoughts with brutal honesty, and of course nobody did it better than the fearless leader.

"Look, maybe Loggie isn't straight and you don't know that for sure, you only have your gut feeling! But that doesn't mean he's attracted to me even if he was the same! Most importantly Kendall I don't want to ruin what we have! Did you know that he asks me what I want to do with my life after school! That's why he offered to give me private lessons! He wants me to go college and when I tell him I'll be a star he says it's good to have a backup plan. I make it hard for him every single day, we waste hours in my room trying to study and it's not my fault I can't keep up with him! You just said it, I'm an idiot and Logan should be in NASA by now. But I spend most of the time looking at the crook of his neck and that smile of his than actually pay attention. I've even written songs about him…"

"Songs…about Logan's neck…."

"Not just the neck Kendork!"

"Lower parts too I bet…"

"Is that how you show your support! Good thing I interrupted you, if you had laughed at him like this he would have just died from embarrassment."

"You can handle the jokes, trust me I'll be all serious when he comes out."

"If he comes out because I just think his girl problem is the same as Carlos's, cold feet."

"Wanna bet?"

"How much?"

"Not money rich boy. If Logan comes out you stop the whoring cold and go after him. If you still want him that is. Until then try not to get any aphrodisiacs."

"And if he doesn't or if he isn't even…"

"I'll get you a damn record deal or something. Because I know you want to be famous and have girls, okay scratch that, people chant your name and rip your clothes off and make money on your own name not your mom's."

"Like you wouldn't go after the big break if you had the chance?"

"I can't sing and I'm not buff and dreamy like you Mr. Diamond."

"I could give you private lessons." James smiled slyly, he even sounded a little flirtatious just to get Kendall back for making him come out.

"No thank you, I like my head where it is, don't want Logan to rip it off for no good reason."

"He doesn't swing that way Ken."

"Then take the bet, what do you have to lose?"

"And how are going to hold your end of the bargain if I win?"

"First of all you want to lose it shows all over your face and I don't know, I'll get a job at the supermarket or something I was planning on doing it anyway to pull my weight around the house. I'll just save up some money for you and your crazy dream."

"That'll take years."

"Then it'll be a prolonged bet, isn't Logan worth the wait?" James threw another longing look over at Logan, he and Vicky were joined by Carlos now and Carlos always made people laugh. He saw Logan's dimples, his crook smile, the things he found irresistible on him, he felt his heart flutter and what did he have to lose taking on a silly bet anyways.

"Yeah he's worth it. Deal!" He gave a hand out and Kendall took it.

"Deal! But no more flirting tonight for you or I'm telling everyone we made out."

"WHAT! You sure you don't bend my way Knight?" They started to slowly make their way back to the party smiles plastered on their faces.

"Pretty sure I'm an arrow. And if I wasn't I'd go for Logan too. I'll give a heads up if I change my mind."

"Good do that. I'll need to find a place to bury you first."

"Oh, so if he gets a girlfriend its fine but a boy is out of the question? You need therapy James…"

"And you'll need a dentist if don't drop it Kendall." James's final warning actually paid off, when they met the others Kendall half lied that he needed some advice from James on how to talk to a girl he actually liked for real. That's why Logan never suspected a thing.

When they went back to the party the only thing James did was be Carlos's wing man, Logan let himself relax and had some actual fun, Kendall spend his time wondering how much he should interfere in his friends' love life. He concluded that too much would make things worse and he should wait and see if luck would smile on him one day, besides he should get a love life for himself first with a nice down to earth girl preferably before he lost his mind playing match maker for his idiotic friends.

* * *

Hours later when they were making their way to the crossroad where they usually parted ways Carlos was the center of attention because he just simply couldn't shut up about all the dates he had made.

"Best party EVER!" Carlos threw a victorious fist towards the night sky.

"You just said that five minutes ago!" James said quite annoyed, Kendall stealing his spotlight every other day was barely bearable but apparently he had created a monster that he had lost all control over.

"Let him enjoy the moment James, he'll screw up on the actual dates without you there to watch him like a hawk." Kendall teased but Carlos was too lost in lala-land to pay attention.

"How many dates did you get buddy?"

"Three Logs! One with Alicia, one with Patty from the basketball team, and one with Vicky! Ha! Beat that James!"

"Wait Vicky? I didn't see you talk with Vicky. That's not right dude she's into Logan! Bros over hoes!" James faked a complaint, Kendall tried not to launch himself over at James and pummel the Face beyond recognition and Logan started to laugh.

"That one he actually made under my supervision James, when you and Kendall were off talking. She's fine and all but she's not my type." James made a face, Kendall threw him a smug smirk that rivaled James's own and threw an arm over Carlos's shoulder to congratulate him.

"See James, Logan knows how to share UNLIKE YOU!" Carlos rubbed in ignoring that James was the one that set the other two up in the first place.

"What an ingrate! At least Loggie is thankful for the double dates I get him. Aren't you Logan?" Logan stopped walking suddenly, he threw his head down to the direction of the sidewalk, maybe he wasn't ready to come out yet but at least he could take one small step out of the self-afflicting torture cycle.

"Actually James if you don't mind, how about you stop setting me up and I try to find someone on my own…not that I'm not grateful or anything but…but it's kind of a pressure to have you there, I need to do this on my own eventually, besides you don't exactly know my type…" Logan was blushing and James fell silent, Kendall wanted to do a victory dance while Carlos stared at them confused.

"You're sure about that?" James asked and he couldn't control the worry on his tone or the sweat that started to come out of his palms. Logan raised his head and looked up to those beautiful hazel eyes he so admired and longed for; he took a big breath in and nodded.

"Yeah I'm sure. If I want help with a girl I'll ask. I can count on you right?" He bit his lower lip which James secretly found adorable and then it was his turn nod.

"Yeah just say the word I'm there for you, I have your back, don't worry. Always."

"Good. Thanks dude." Then Logan felt lighthearted having shed of some of the burden in his heart and after patting James on the shoulder he picked up his pace again. He walked by Carlos's side and even though James tried to avoid him Kendall slid by his.

"You're going to lose." He said in singsong whispering in James's ear.

"He said girl Knight, besides I can't lose, it's a win-win situation for me if you somehow magically manage to keep your end of the bargain."

"Keep dreaming big James and maybe one day who knows, your time will come. Maybe you can bring us along for the ride. I'll be proud of you whatever you do with your life man just not as proud as him."

"Thanks Ken." He threw an arm over his shoulder and then the brotherhood moment broke into tiny pieces when Logan who walked in the front, back turned on the other two, stopped cold once more but this time it was because of something Carlos had said.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE ALL NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT?!" He gave himself a face palm while Carlos died on the spot.

"Jaaames I messed the dates! Why didn't you say something man! You got to help me fix this!" Carlos started to moan but James passed right between them strutting like the crown prince while Kendall shook his head in disapproval.

"No! You're on your own Garcia. I like to be appreciated thank you very much!" And as James put his hands in his pockets he began to sing to himself because he just loved the sound of his own voice, while Carlos went after him pleading and begging and making threats about grabbing his pappy's gun.

"What do you see in him again?" Kendall asked Logan with such nonchalance Logan didn't even notice the question.

"Sometimes I ask myself...WAIT WHAT DID JUST YOU SAY!" Logan screamed and his heart combusted in flames, while Kendall just shrugged his shoulders.

"Nothing I just want to know why you keep calling him your best friend. That's all."

"Oh…that…yeah…that's what I thought you meant…you know…I…"Then Kendall let a small laugh out and bopped his head up and down throwing an arm around Logan's shoulder.

"It's okay genius, take your time. You're smart, I have faith in you."

"Kendall…" Logan was about to cry, he read underneath the lines but he wasn't sure if Kendall was just messing with him or if he was showing his support.

"Don't blow a wire Logs. We need to get girlfriends first and take James down a peg. Deal?" He lied seeing Logan was about to fall apart and he was satisfied with all the progress he had made in one night so he set things back to normal.

"Deal…"Logan smiled warmly and then added a quick thanks that Kendall pretended not to have heard.


	3. Chapter 3

**How long must I wait**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Pairing: James/Logan**

**Rating: M**

**A/N: This is the last chapter, some of you may see the ending as another awful cliffhanger, but I don't see the need to drag it pointlessly by the nose and besides I'm saving a real detailed fairy tale ending for another story or rather an anniversary sequel along the road. Also this is my first smutless piece after a long, long time, the boys tried to their best to change my mind but I didn't cave in! In your face JAGAN! The story I'm currently working on will have so much smut it'll be like a porn movie, so this one needed to be light and fluffy!**

**This story WAS BETAED! Newbie-0.0Q valiantly stomached my awful drafts and held my hand through this and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE! THIS IS YOURS NOW! Speaking of people who've held my hand a special thanks to: Kidstraws for giving me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, and Clarry who put my heart to rest! God I love you both! Finally Cutie I want to know your time of death because you will not survive this! Sorry for the long A/N! Please review! THANK YOU ALL!**

As James climbed up the outer staircase of their new house he tried to do it quietly as a mouse, a feat almost impossible for someone of his height and build but still he miraculously pulled it off somehow. He reached the front door and as he placed the keys in the lock as stealthy as he possibly could, he stopped himself and took a moment to snicker imagining how the grand entrance he had devised would knock his prey off his shocks, how he would fluster and squeak like a girl and fall over the floor suffering a mild heart attack, and James would fill the entire house with thunderous laughter enjoying every single second of his great accomplishment.

With that fantasy image burning in his mind James turned the key slowly; he took a deep breath and grasped tightly the precious "bomb" he held in his other hand, he barged into the house in full force while he screamed his lungs out.

"HONEY I'M HOME!"

Logan didn't even bother to turn his head up; he kept his attention on his book and gave a long tired yawn out. His body was stretched on the couch and he was already wearing his pajamas, a jug of milk half emptied on the table beside him.

"Hey." He mumbled finally and James's entire world collapsed like a castle build out of cards.

"Hey! Hey! That's all you have to say to me! HEY!" James exploded, his blood pressure hit uncharted heights, he jolted like he was struck by lightning, he stomped his feet over to the couch and hovered behind Logan who finally gave him the courtesy to lift his head up and throw a quick but condescending look at the menacing towering red flustered giant.

"What? Did you expect trumpets and a rose carpet or something?" And then he returned his attention back to his book because he found brain tumors more fascinating than James's childish antics.

"But… but look…I got you flowers!" James shoved the red rose bouquet up in Logan's face, Logan found the sudden smell suffocating, his nose wiggled to protest and then he broke into violent sneezing.

"Take that thing away from me and throw it in the trash!" Logan snapped the moment the he reigned the sneezing, James's pupils dilated he pulled back the flowers with a look of total bafflement trying to figure where was it that he had gone wrong.

"But…but…"

"No buts butt head! We don't have a vase big enough for that botanical garden you brought! And for the last time I AM NOT A GIRL!"

"But Loggie-bear…" James moaned like he was a kid in a toy store drooling over a plastic robot that could change into a car and back again, Logan glared daggers with bloodthirsty eyes showing him that he meant business.

"James! Do not make me count to ten!"

"Fiiine…" James whined and slouched defeated with his back hunched towards the kitchen, while Logan victorious hid his face behind his book so he could finally giggle and bite his lip and turn all shades of red and pink after making sure that James wasn't looking of course because his boyfriend, the one and only James David Diamond desired by legions of fans, brought **him** flowers and how awesome was that!

When he heard James return he quickly put the facade back on, he shifted his body slightly upwards so he could make space for James to sit beside him, James fell on the couch like he had just been shot in the heart and Logan exchanged the couch pillow for James's knee and rested his head there.

"So hey…" James hissed in rage and Logan couldn't fight the smile from spreading across his lips anymore, he put the book on the coffee table and looked up at James's beautiful face, he saw that the hazel eyes were a little moist and lifted one hand up to tenderly caress a cheek.

"Hey baby…." His tone changed to honeyed sweet and it soothed James's anger and disappointment, James poked Logan's nose playfully and looked down on him eyes filled in adoration lips curled into a loving smile.

"How was your day?" James asked in whisper although he didn't really had to, he just found it sort of fitting, like every word they exchanged was a precious secret, a treasure only for the two of them to share.

"Good…classes were a little long, I'm a little tired…missed you, couldn't wait to see you…how did it go in the studio today?"

"Gustavo put the finishing touches in Past and Future …We'll start recording it next week…"

"Can't wait to hear it…"

"You're going to love it Loggie, I wrote it for you after all…"

"You say that for every song in the album James." Logan shook his head but he still loved James in his entirety, with his sappiness and every other flaw, minor or major, they made James even more precious, that was what Logan thought at least.

"I told you Logan from the moment we first kissed, all my songs are yours, they were and always will be…" James took Logan's hand and wrapped his own around it; it felt so warm that it rivaled the fire burning in his heart. Logan let a sigh out, now his eyes were the ones that were forming tears but they were born out of pure happiness, born out of precious love.

"I still can't believe this is real…what we have right now…"

"It's real Logan; we made it real, together the both of us."

"I almost lost you..."

"No...I almost lost you…" James kissed the tip of Logan's fingers softly Logan closed his eyes, pulled James's hand down, placed it on his chest so James could feel the pounding of his heart, it could combust at any second.

"What was I thinking back then, taking it so far with Camille?"

"The same stupid things that were running in my head when I pretended that I didn't care, when I pretended you were just a friend, we were both scared of screwing things up, losing our friendship, being labeled freaks…"

"Good thing we stopped in time."

"I think we owe that to the rest of our family mostly. I can't believe Carlos actually punched me when I gave you that idiotic idea to win her back."

"The proposal? I don't even know which one of the two of us was the biggest idiot, you for making up that plan or me for actually putting it in action?"

"Well, I can tell you that the most sensible one of us was Camille for sure."

"Yeah, she slapped me the moment she saw the little jewelry box and told me that it was time I stopped screwing around and go after you! How the fuck did she even know about us? I never slipped in the four years me and her were dating! And I can't believe she kept the ring, that thing cost me a fortune!"

"Loggie we slipped! Both of us! You got me in a pink dress for crying out loud!"

"Yeah but I was subtle, killing two birds with one stone! Camille lost the prom title and you and I had our first slow dance!" Logan had the face of a child that got away with murder while James shook his head in disapproval.

"P-I-N-K D-R-E-S-S!"

"Do you still have it somewhere hidden in your closet; we could go out for dinner tomorrow and you could wear it under a coat, your shoulders looked ravishing in it!"

"Drop it Mitchell!" Logan laughed, how could he do anything but laugh, he was the happiest man in the world now; he had what he always wanted after all.

"You don't want to come with me at Roques' Monday, record some back vocals? Or we could do a duet? I miss your voice..." James asked melancholically.

"Jamie, I have morning classes you known that, besides we made a deal with Griffin." James let a grunt out, he was genuinely boiling mad now.

"Yeah, don't remind me! How can you be fine with that Logan? After hiding for so long how come you don't want to scream it to the world that we're together now?"

"It's not easy, it's not as hard as it is for you with all the events and the parties you have to go and pretend and when I see the model du jour or some starlet wrapped around you like a spider in the red carpet I die in the inside…But we have to be patient love, I want your solo album to come out and I know how much you want it too, what it means to you…"

"But I'm lying to the fans…" James buried his head in his hands; Logan arched his body upward and placed his head on James's shoulder. He nibbled softly the back of James's ear and then he left a long kiss on the back of his neck, trying to alleviate some of the sadness the best way he could. Logan always hated it the most when his Jamie was sad, from the time he was still a toddler named Hortanse and until his dying breath he would do anything in his power to protect James, because James and James alone was special, a person just for him.

"James, I know you hate it and you're right, but we agreed when we saw it was time to break the band not to give up on chasing our dreams. We are all trying our best, Kendall won that hockey scholarship and Carlos is off to see the world with his girlfriend trying to find his place, I'm in pre-med and you, you just have to make that album baby, I know how important it is for you, make your own name, stand on your own two feet. We all believe in you James…I believe in you…"

"But it feels wrong…I want to be myself, I want people to love me for being myself like you do, I know how it sounds like I just want to please my ego but I just want to be true to myself Logan. I owe it to all the people that helped me along the way. From you to Kendall and Carlos and everyone else that helped me along the road."

"The important people know James, the ones that care for you and will be there for you after the spotlights fade. The guys, our families back home, our friends here in California. They know, and they love us and so will the fans that really look up to you, you'll be an icon one day love just like you were meant to be, you'll see. For now we have to wait, and enjoy what we have while we still can. Gustavo got us this beach house didn't he? We are sheltered here, away from the paparazzi and the cameras and the people that won't understand us. And Griffin promised if the album goes well that you can come out…"

"Griffin asked Gustavo to write a song with the word girl in the chorus today." James informed coldly making Logan squint his eyes in anger and pout his lips

"You think I can take his bodyguards down?"

"Of course you can tiger; you'll get a life sentence in prison if you kill him though. And then I'll be all lonely and miserable for the rest of my life."

"You can go back on chasing skirts…" Logan grinned and it was James's turn to glare menacingly this time.

"You're never going to let that one go will you?"

"Not any time soon. You can suffer for it you bisexual pervert!"

"Some nerve you have! After four years of having to stand watching you suck face with Roberts…"

"Oh, now she's Roberts? I find it hilarious how you call her by her last name when you're jealous. Also you tried to break us up while I suffered in silence through every single one of your girlfriends. Oh wait, they weren't exactly girlfriends, you slut. And do you have any idea how much that stupid kiss you had with Camille hurt me James? I was prepared to scratch you off my life asshole!"

"You didn't though…" James coed and smiled, because he suddenly noticed that Logan had wrapped his arms around James's neck and how close their lips were.

"Like I can live without you…"

"Really Loggie-bear? You can't?" James licked his lips and Logan knew were this was going, he shook his head and leaned in even closer murmuring the answer, grazing James's mouth.

"No baby I can't, I love you…I love you so much…"

James felt the sweet taste of milk mixed in Logan's tongue as he took it in his mouth, as he caressed it with his own, Logan felt their teeth grind James's lips part welcoming him back, their hearts started beating louder, Logan leaned closer and closer until he felt James's chest on his own, James was on the end of the couch half his body in midair, he tried to find a way to push Logan back or else he would fall over the edge. He thought gravity and Logan had a deal behind his back, Logan just pushed and James would fall, on the ground or on the floor, or in the pits of maddening love and James had little choice to no choice but to comply happily. But falling now would mean that they would have to break contact and he didn't want that, not yet, not ever, he had an epiphany as he dived in and out of Logan's warm parted lips.

Logan felt a hand, a palm, ran under the back of his shirt caressing his spine. He suddenly felt sizzling heat running down his body and setting him on fire. He made the mistake of straddling himself around James and that's when he felt the bulge between James's legs pressuring against his own. He suddenly stopped, pulled back and got up, skin sweaty and body shaking looking with trembling doe brown eyes at James who smiled at him mischievously.

"NO!" Logan shouted trying to catch his breath.

"No what you sexy little pig?" That pompous smile James had on, Logan often wondered who was the genius that told James Diamond that he owned the world; Logan dreamed of the day he could get his hands on that person and choke him to death.

"No sex tonight! I'm tired and I have to wake up tomorrow at dawn!"

"Tomorrow's Saturday sugar, so come back here and let me worship you all night…"

"I know what the day tomorrow is James thank you very much! There's this author I really like and he's giving a book signing down town …"

"Oh, no you're not going to hold out on me so you can get one of your lame books signed nerd. Come back here Hortanse! RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!" James got up and grabbed Logan by the arm, he pulled him down on the couch, before Logan could fake a complaint James was on top of him kissing his lips, biting his neck, hands everywhere, he started to grind his body, claiming what he was rightfully owned, what Logan gave him freely, his body and his soul.

"James…no…I'm tired…" Logan mewled but he parted his legs all the same.

"Yeah…okay…I'll stop…just one more kiss…I promise…right after this one…no…this one….this…" And as he kissed Logan over and over again, his hand slipped under Logan's sweatpants he was about to pull it down, underwear with it, then his cell phone tucked away in the back pocket of his jeans started ringing and buzzing. James tried to ignore it but Logan grumbled because interruptions like these ruined the mood for him.

"Just answer the damn phone! And tell the asshole on the line I'm about to blow you to next week!" Logan gave James a big wet kiss and pinned him with his eyes stating he meant business; James gave him a nod in agreement and got his phone out shaking with lust and anger, he was still on top of Logan not wanting to break away their connected bodies and he felt Logan's hands go down, nimble fingers unzip his pants, but when he saw the name flashing on the screen he stood up like someone had splashed a bucket of cold water on him.

"Hi Judy…no you're not interrupting anything…"

"Yes she is! It's a quarter to ten! People eat at a quarter to ten, she's interrupting my dinner!"Logan growled in the background, the good news were that the person on the other side of the line was probably one of the nicest, sweetest radio producers in the entire west coast. They knew her since their first band album came out and she always treated them with utter respect and supported them any way she could, she was also one of the few people in the business that actually knew the truth about the nature of the relationship the boys shared and she had promised James that when the time came for him to share his secret she would give him a platform to speak freely and would keep on supporting him just as she fervently had done from day one. The bad news for Logan at least was that there was no way she would call James on his personal cell phone at this hour if this wasn't some kind of emergency.

"No…Gustavo hasn't called…oh, wait, he's on the other line right now…"

"Great more people that want me to starve to death…" James snickered with Logan's comment but he still turned and shook his head trying to tell his horn dog of a boyfriend to cut it out.

"So what can I do for you…?"

"How about you fuck me first and try to please the rest of your adoring masses later Diamond!" Now James changed his expression to an angry one and turned to leave so he could speak on the phone properly while he pulled the zipper up but Logan shot up from the couch as fast as he could and wrapped his arms around James's waist kissing a shoulder tenderly, James passed the phone to Logan who heard Judy apologizing frantically again and again for calling and with big brown eyes locked in hazel ones Logan dropped the jealous boyfriend routine.

"I'm sorry Judy, don't hang up! I didn't mean to insult you...we were just having a moment…I know, I know you wouldn't…Here tell James what he can do to help…" And as James put the phone back on his ear he kissed Logan's forehead lovingly and returned back to business.

"He cancelled huh? Yeah…he's a prick...What time tomorrow…Morning at eight…" As James made preparations for the sudden interview Logan just smiled with the most arrogant, smug smile he had, the one he had copied from James who suddenly had a daydream of burying Logan's dead body in the sandy beach outside.

"No, no just don't ask me about the personal stuff, you know who I'm dating and the like so I won't have to lie…" Logan trailed off to his study room and picked the two books he wanted the author to sign and then pointed them over to James who nodded his head in defeat, then Logan giddily returned to the living room and picked the jug of milk up, and as he was about to go to the kitchen he stopped and leaned over at James's free ear.

"Cock blocker…" He whispered and then he dashed off but not fast enough because James still managed to slap him in the behind, something that Logan actually loved but he wouldn't tell James that even if he was threatened at gun point.

"I'll be there at seven..." James promised warmly and after saying goodnight he hung up and then he called Gustavo to tell him that he was okay with doing the interview, while Logan made the table so they could eat the actual dinner he had prepared earlier and go to bed so they could sleep, he reflected James's disappointed expression knowing that regular food wouldn't satisfy their hunger but also knowing all too well that their version of foreplay would leave James's body a wreck and he wouldn't be able to function properly for the long day he had ahead.

* * *

They ate their food in low lighting, sitting across one another divided by the kitchen table so they could keep a safe distance and not give in to their carnal cravings although both knew no physical boundary would be able to hold them back if their bodies weren't beat from the tribulations of the week.

They were smiling at each other like lovesick fools, James had the stereo play their favorite love songs on repeat, physically tonight he couldn't sweep Logan from his feet like he wanted to but he saw no reason to bar the romance out too.

"This stake tastes good Loggie; I almost don't miss Momma K's cooking now. Almost…." James said between mouthfuls trying not to choke by laughter with the sight of Logan's frustrated expression.

"Gee, thanks for the compliment! This is still better from the tasteless health crap you force feed me when you cook James!" Logan pouted and James flailed and laughed, pushing Logan's buttons was his favorite extreme sport after all.

"You know I'm just pulling your leg right? I appreciate it how you take care of me Logs. I know how busy you are with school."

"First of all you take care of me too. You clean the house like you're possessed by your old maid or something, besides its takeout food most of the time."

"I find it warm on the table and a person to share it with. That's more than I've ever had back home growing up in Brooke's Ice Palace. That's why you do it in the first place isn't it? "

"I'm just trying to make you happy James; it fills me more than anything else." Logan stopped eating he just played with the yam potatoes on his plate blushing and looking adorable which promptly reminded James the other reason he made all those plans to woe Logan that night and now with the theme of the Titanic playing in the background, a movie Logan loved more than any Batman film but only James knew about that, now would be as good a time as any.

"You know what would make me the happiest man on earth Logan?" James asked with a trembling voice, he got up from his chair slowly and walked over at Logan's side and fell on one knee, he slowly slipped a hand into a pocket, and Logan forgot how he was supposed to breathe, and despite all of his academic achievements and the fact he had been called a genius in his entire life, he couldn't figure out why was the room spinning and why was the ground shaking all of a sudden.

"Oh God…"

"Logan how would you feel if we…"

"YES! JAMES YES!"

"…get a puppy…" And James dropped the photo of the adorable little mongrel when he realized what had just happened while Logan's eyes darted on the clock of the kitchen wall trying to make out the time of his own death.

"What?" James stared at the ghost that used to be his boyfriend once upon a time.

"Bleep blop bloop..." Logan tried a timeless classic to distract James, it didn't work.

"Don't pull that shit on me! What were you thinking I was going to ask of you Loggie?" James grinned like a shark. Logan grabbed his glass of wine with a shaking hand; he considered throwing it on James first but his throat had gone dry. One stroke symptom down a million to go.

"Stop…it…" Logan whispered staring across empty space because empty space didn't include James and his arrogant perfect face.

"You thought I was going to propose to you didn't you? You soooo did!" James sneered and then started pinching Logan at his sides mockingly and Logan felt a raging madness burning the embarrassment away.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Logan stood up and looked down at James with tearful furious eyes but James was neither scared nor shaken by his reaction. He fell silent as he wrapped his arms around Logan's legs and buried his face in his abdomen, kissing one kneecap softly refusing to turn his head up, like he was standing before divine judgment and he had only one chance to confess his sins.

"I'm sorry baby…I didn't mean to tease you like that…" James's repenting voice brought Logan back from the verge of childish insanity.

"James get up…I overreacted…and now you're doing it too…" The only thing James did when he heard Logan's choked voice was to kiss the other knee.

"No…I come to you from all sides…it must be overwhelming having to put up with me and all my bullshit…you didn't overreact…"

"Jamie no…I was caught up in the moment that was all…you didn't do anything wrong…not with the flowers…not with this…I love you James…I'm sorry…" Logan fell on the floor too then, because he felt the need to be on equal ground, and as he hugged James for dear life he realized James was shaking like a leaf.

"I do want to marry you one day Logan…I've been dreaming about it for a long time…a long, long time…"

"Since when…" Logan smiled anxiously, thinking it was impossible that James still remembered the time he actually gave him a ring. Logan had engraved that memory in his heart, it got him through the hard times, it filled him with silly hope.

"Well do you remember back in first grade, we were playing pretend…" And then Logan kissed him, passionately and lovingly bursting with happiness, because that was the day he realized he was in love with James even before knowing what loving someone really meant and he always wondered if James felt the same way too and now that he knew the true meaning of the concept of belonging to someone, he expressed it passionately with his lips, with his tongue, with soft moans of pleasure dedicated to James.

When they were out of breath and their lungs burned with hot pain, James pulled back from Logan's embrace and got up, helping Logan along the way. He refused to let go of his hand though.

"How about we cut the drama and we finish our dinner, it's getting late…"

"Don't you want to hear my answer first…?" Logan kissed James once more with a sparkle in his eyes.

"I'd love to…" James's heart skipped beats; he bit his lower lip in anticipation.

"We're not getting a puppy James." Logan said flatly and then fell back on his seat savoring the sweet taste of vengeance.

"What!"

"I don't need yet another cock blocker, especially one in my house. And we barely have time for each other let alone a dog."

"But…but…look at how cute he is…Kelly won't be able to hold him for us for long…please Logan...he's the cutest little…" James picked the photo and pointed at the dog back and forth pleading desperately like his life depended on it, Logan coldly went back to his dinner.

"No. I'm not sharing you with a flea bag. End of discussion!"

"You're heartless!"

"One…two…" Logan started to growl between bites, his expression was domineering. He reminded James that the only reason he was allowed to top most of the times in the bedroom was that Logan enjoyed having his prostate invaded mercilessly, nothing more nothing less.

"I'm not scared of you dork!"

"…three…" Logan shot him a crook menacing smile, but James returned to his seat ignoring it or at least he tried to the best way he could, the times Logan fell for James's acting skills were way past gone.

"You can count to a million we're getting the damn dog!"

"…four…" Logan continued and now James who liked to give his boyfriend nicknames, most of them derived from the animal kingdom, suddenly found a new one for him, dragon. Because Logan was huffing and puffing fire from his nostrils and his eyes were burning coal, James fought the urge to call Kendall for backup because his surname was Knight.

"And I'll play with him all day, and I'll name him The Face just to piss you off!"

"…and I'll call your mother and tell her that we're breaking up over a dog." Logan gave him the threat that trampled all threats and ended the war emerging victorious once again.

"Okay fine! Katie can have him; I'll just go over at her place and play with him whenever I can. Jealous little shit head…"

"Good." He let James stew and after finishing his dinner silently he remembered he needed to clarify one more thing.

"Oh, and James love, next time I'm the one whose proposing and it's going to be for real and you'll say yes. Right sweetheart?" Logan didn't hide the worry in his voice; James heard it and he knew there was no room for jokes this time.

"Yes Logan. The moment I come out we're getting engaged. I promise, I'm yours forever just be a little patient with me." James felt guilty, he couldn't give Logan what he wanted, what they both wanted with every fiber of their being, because he was selfish and was he was cursed with big almost impossible dreams but Logan didn't care, he wanted James to be complete, fulfilled, their love was one of a kind, only they understood the lengths one would go for the other's sake.

"I love you James."

"I love you Logan. I'm sorry for making you…"

"I'll get you a puppy as a wedding present."

"You'll name him for me too, you sly little fox."

"You and your silly pet names…but I like the sound of that one."

"Fox..." James repeated and Logan's eyes shined like stars.

* * *

Afterwards they entered their bedroom holding hands, fingers entwined until their knuckles bruised, they fell asleep in each other's arms, one wishing that the dawn would never come and one hoping that this was the last day of his life, with a heart filled with love and soaring in bliss. At nights, in their little fortress on the sand they were allowed to live their fairy tale and sometimes reality seemed dark and cruel and a future filled with hardships lurked in a corner, a part of the world ready to do its best to tear them apart.

Let it try, let them come, the haters and the narrow minded and the ones that were doomed to be forever hallow. Because Logan waited for a lifetime to finally live his dream, he tried to run away from his destiny himself once and now he only regretted the time he had lost and he planned on dedicating the rest of the life he was allowed to making James the happiest man on the face of the planet.

James would throw fame and money and even his songs into a fire, just to keep Logan right there where he had him now. Wrapped in his arms, his heartbeat lulling him to sleep, feeling his breath fall on the crook of his neck, the warmth of Logan's skin, the intoxicating smell of his hair, those were the things that really mattered to James, what was really important to him. The dream he built within the dream. Because only Logan was real, and only James was forever.


End file.
